The case for living with mom and dad

The case for living with mom and dad

• Returning home may be a route to financial independence
• More adult Americans are living with their parents. In fact, there’s even a new TV show about it on ABC, “How to Live With Your Parents.”

There are more adult Americans age 34 or younger sleeping in their childhood bedrooms now than at any other time in the past 30 years, studies show. Nearly one-quarter of those ages 20 to 34 were living at home between 2007 and 2009, up from 17% in 1980, according to a study released last August by Zhenchao Qian of Ohio State University. The rate is closer to one-third for 25- to 34-year-olds, says Kim Parker, the lead researcher on another recent survey, “The Boomerang Generation.”

Some parents are straining under the pressure. Financial advisers say it’s costly to host an adult-child, between $8,000 and $18,000 a year, according to a report in the Wall Street Journal. But it’s a burden more parents are bearing: Some 22.6 million adults aged 18-34 lived at home in 2012, a number that’s jumped 18% in the last decade, the U.S. Census found. The ABC sitcom was based on writer and actress Claudia Lonow’s own experiences of living at home after getting divorced. The TV version features a young woman (played by Sarah Chalke) who moves home with her daughter because of the financial crisis and a recent divorce.

But just because more young adults are moving in with their parents doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Andi Cooper, 32, a communications specialist from Ridgeland, Miss. who recently moved in with her parents, says people shouldn’t feel sorry for her. “I’m extremely happy,” she says. And she’s not alone.

Others report the same feeling. Some 78% of those surveyed in a 2012 Pew Research survey say they’re satisfied with their living arrangements and 77% feel upbeat about their future finances. “If there’s supposed to be a stigma attached to living with Mom and Dad through one’s late 20s or early 30s, today’s boomerang generation didn’t get that memo,” Parker says.

It may also be part of a larger cultural shift: People are also getting married later in life and flying the coop later, Qian says. Case in point: Jennifer Marcus, 26, a public-relations executive and television blogger, works in New York and moved back to her childhood home in New Jersey in September 2011 for one year. “They gave me emotional support after a really tough breakup,” she says. “I also switched jobs this year and my parents were monumental in helping me with that decision.” Marcus had a job and wasn’t a drain on her parents, and it gave her time to find an apartment in the city.

To be sure, many young adults are living with their parents strictly because of joblessness, low wages or high housing costs. About one-third of 25- to 34-year-olds say they moved back or never left because of the economy, the Pew report found, up from 11% in 1980. But there’s a silver lining too. Nearly half of these young adults say they have paid rent to their parents instead of to some anonymous landlord, and 89% say they have helped with household expenses, the report found.

And many college graduates in their 30s who still live at home to save money say they’re glad they avoided buying a home at the peak of the market. Cooper says she has a lot of friends who bought homes in their 30s, before 2008—and are now unable to sell them because they have negative equity. Despite having a graduate degree in Wildlife Science and a well-paid job, she says she had never bought a house. “I definitely feel blessed to have dodged that bullet,” she says.

Moving back in with one’s parents may even make sense for those who can afford a place of their own, others say.” Living at home promotes saving,” says Sheldon Garon, a professor of history at Princeton University and author of “Beyond Our Means: Why America Spends While the World Saves.” He says it could help students pay off the $1 trillion they now owe in student loans. “There has been a staggering increase in student debt in the last few years,” Garon says. “It may make a lot of sense for young people to trim their costs.”

On a personal note, college graduates also reap the benefits of having two mature roommates who can give them valuable advice about planning their future. Qian says this is a critical time for many young people. Because of the time spent living at home with her parents, Marcus potentially saved tens of thousands of dollars in the price of a new home. “Living at home is giving me the opportunity to wait for a good opportunity,” she says, “and, more importantly, to save a strong down payment.”

Her mother, Toni Cooper, says her daughter contributes to utilities and groceries, so having her live at home in her 30s doesn’t significantly impact their living expenses. Plus, she and her husband are happy to mind their daughter’s two dogs when she is traveling for work. “Andi won’t start off in debt where 100% of her monthly income is going towards living expenses,” she says. “She’s now in good shape to take that step.”